It's important to realize that Blondes can't go water-skiing - when their crotch gets wet they think they got to lay down...

It's even more important to realize the big difference between blondes and bitches - a blonde will screw anyone, whilst a bitch will screw anyone but you...

It's worth remembering why blondes can't count to 70 - it's cause 69 is already a bit of a mouthful...

Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PhD in Psychology?
A: She'll blow your mind, too.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limo?
A: Well, not everybody's went to town in a limo!

Q: Have you heard about the blonde virgin? 
A: She hangs out with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had 2 chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times.

Q: What did the blondes left leg say to her right?
A: As if they've ever met!

Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.

Q: What do blonde's do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

Q: What do blonde's do with their Assholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

Q: What's the link between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: Both get screwed on the front of a Ford Fiesta.

Wedding Blues

A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But officer," the man began.
"I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer.
"I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say..."

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said,
"Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding... He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell.
"I'm the groom."

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